Adventures of a Makeup Misfit: What the Pluck?

what the pluck?

Adventures of a makeup misfit

***Guest Post by the Makeup Misfit***

          You're looking in the mirror and notice that your eyebrows are looking a tad disarrayed.  You begin to wonder, how shall I remedy this dilemma? Should I shave them at home or at a salon? Should I get them waxed? And we've all wanted to try the latest attempt at eyebrow maintenance, threading! Every woman strives for the perfect movie star arch that compliments her eyes and accentuates her face. Like Joan Crawford, you remember her signature eyebrows like you remember the famous line "no more wire hangers!" Well, eyebrow maintenance Mommie Dearest is a necessary evil. The road to this heavenly conquest is sometimes paved with good intentions. We wax, shave, thread and yes pluck (tweeze) our eyebrows into the straight and narrow, curved and sleek silhouette of exquisite submission all in the name of beauty.

           Shaving your eyebrows, if you know what you're doing, can leave a clean beautiful curve to your eyebrows that accentuates any eye. I've tried shaving my own eyebrows and let me tell you I leave this task to the professionals. Any time I try to accomplish this goal myself, I always hear Shug Avery in my ear saying " that razor looks dull to me Ms. Celie!" I imagine myself, going along with precision and all of a sudden, I hear that call of the Dinka tribe as Nettie turns away and blood runs down my face! NOT PRETTY.  Needless to say, I go to my favorite stylist, pay her my money and TIP, then walk away with beautifully arched eyebrows.

Now waxing, I would say is the fastest method to eyebrow madness.  The waxing experience is not bad AT FIRST!!! It starts off  with warm wax sometimes a little hot. The stylist or technician applies the wax in a generous amount to the desired area and then a strip is pressed over the wax. Here comes the fun part, as the strip is snatched off your face the entire room goes silent, tears run down your face and temporary paralysis occurs. You find yourself  blacking out and spiraling down a rabbit hole, passing Alice and the Mad Hatter! As you regain consciousness, you realize that beauty is pain.  Just as we endure stiletto pumps, girdles and underwire bras, women everywhere have endured the pain of waxing. In my experience, waxing has lasted longer than shaving so there is a benefit to this method of eyebrow maintenance.

            We've all seen those horror films where some unsuspecting damsel in distress is strapped to a table and forced to undergo agonizing and excruciating pain at the hands of a psychopathic killer, well anyone that plucks eyebrows is that psychopath in my opinion. I am convinced, it takes a certain type of person to pluck eyebrows and an even more mentally disturbed individual to subject themselves to plucking. Plucking is not an art to me it's more of a sadistic act of cruelty that pushes the limits of beauty to the edge by the ends of your eyelids. And even after you've succumb to the madness of plucking it's sometimes not as accurate as the previously mentioned methods of eyebrow maintenance. Sure you can do this at home without any assistance but who would want to? I for one reject the idea of plucking eyebrows as an archaic medieval practice invented in a dungeon-esque torture chamber by Dr. Frankenstein or Dr. Moreau.

  

            Whether the Color Purple is your shave, you enjoy free falling into a wax filled Wonderland or maybe subjecting yourself to the suspenseful thrill ride plucked right out of a H. G. Wells novel, when getting your eyebrows manicured you must truly choose your own path. Whichever you decide, only you know your threshold of pain in order to acquire your Hollywood look. Though exquisiteness comes at a price ranging from a bag of large popcorn to tickets on Broadway, when you make your première I guarantee no one will take their eyes off of you! 

Continue Reading

Adventures of a Makeup Misfit

Adventures of a Makeup Misfit

I have the pleasure of introducing my new co-blogger, Ani Baraka!   Besides being my BFF (in real life) she is an amazing poet, true southern belle, music & wine connoisseur and mommy with a fetish for heels!  While she has been into fashion for quite awhile, she really didn't do the makeup thing until her stylist cousin turned her into a glamazon for a poetry show (see left).  I don't know if she's hooked yet but she's getting there! So without further ado, The Adventures of a Makeup Misfit!

 

********************************************

Have you ever been to a foreign country? When you get off the plane you want to try everything. You look around at all the sights and try to decide where to go first so that you get the maximum experience possible. However, there are obstacles in your way, such as language barriers and general lack of direction. To your dismay the people stare at you like you're an alien, because honestly you are.

Well to my surprise, this is what buying makeup was like for me. I entered the cosmetic aisle with all of this great optimism. I mean, I know what I look like and I know what looks good on me. I've always been pretty fashion forward, however, this experience for me was quite awe-inspiring. As I approached the "great wall of makeup", it became clear to me that I did not speak the language of the natives! 

I walked up and down that aisle looking at makeup references and color palettes (my compass) and having no idea where was north. I quickly exited the area and called my sister who lives there so that she could give me directions. She giggled a little to herself, not because she was laughing at me, but because her, my mother and every other woman in my life speak makeup fluently. Me on the other hand, I never really showed an interest in makeup beyond a neutral lip gloss and finger nail polish.

Well, as I was begging my sister for assistance, a local ( she worked in the store) finally asked me if I needed help. By that time, my sister had given me some pretty basic steps to reach my destination; manageable makeup that even I couldn't mess up. She first asked me where I was, what makeup I owned and then told me what I needed to try. Considering I don't have damaged skin or many breakouts and the only blemishes I have are freckles, she told me to try a tinted moisturizer. This is basically lotion with color added (who knew?!). She also told me to pick up some mascara, an eye pencil and eye shadow that I was comfortable with. Thus began my adventure into the world of makeup art.

For many people applying makeup is overwhelming. I mean seriously, I looked at everything that I purchased and was thinking, what do I put on first? I didn't want to look like a clown or the heroine from a bad 1970s movie. So once again I called for reinforcements. I had my mother in the room with me and got my sister on the line promptly. By this time she was in tears laughing at me. Mostly because she's so used to me being confident and having things under control or at least having a contingency plan. Well, I had nothing. Eventually, with the help of my mother and sister, I found my place in the makeup world. I am officially a Makeup Misfit.

This Makeup Misfit will share with you all of the perils and fashion havens I encounter as I venture into the uncharted territory of makeup shopping, application and the affects it has on me in my life and skin. From the mind of someone who has never before traveled to the lands of L'Oreal or seen a Covergirl up close, this will truly prove to be an exploration for us all.

You can find Ani Baraka on Twitter @AniBaraka or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/IHEARTRetailTherapy

Continue Reading

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!  I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday and new year celebration!  

As you may have noticed, I didn't post during the holiday season.  During the holidays, I take time to self reflect.  Do not get me wrong, I enjoy the holidays (with two little ones you have to!); but I always take time for myself and my family, recharge my battery, review the passing year and make plans for the upcoming year.

I know it is rather cliche, but this year is going to be my year (and all subsequent years, mind you).  I have enrolled to be a certified MUA (!) and am going to pursue cosmetology!  Yes ladies, be on the look out for a full scale salon and day spa soon! Besides that and the usual resolutions people make; be a better mother, wife, daughter, relative and friend...get my sexy back, drink more water, eat more veggies, work out, cut out bad habits...I also want to see some changes in the world.  While it may be true that one person alone can not change the world...I feel if I can do better myself, maybe I can inspire others to do better as well.

Climate change, pollution, corruption of political systems, corporate greed at the expense of peoples lives, racism, women's rights, the lack of sisterhood between women(!), the dumbing down of society and a whole slew of detrimental issues that affect us all worry me more than ever.  I look at my children and wonder what type of world am I passing on to them? 

With these thoughts I ponder, I realize I have to make a change, be a better example and hopefully clean up the mess that my generation and ones before mine have left.  I love my children and I only want the best for them and other children as well.  With that said, ladies, change is up to you.  Yes, within your beautifully manicured hands is the power to change the world.

Now you may be saying to yourself, I only came here to read about how to get some Louboutins for cheap...well, today I need you to concentrate on your future and the future of this world we live in.  (Tomorrow we'll go back to shopping on the cheap)  You may feel powerless to make changes in the world, but I promise you your fears are with out merit.

If you do a brief study into history; read about the Women's Suffrage Movement, Women's Liberation, and the powerful women behind some of the greatest movements in history, you will realize our power.  Mind you, this isn't a call to male bash, I am simply pointing out that we need to understand our power and use it to effectively make these much needed changes!  

While you may not want to be on the front lines participating in the Slut Walks, or organizing committees in your neighborhood, let us try something simple.  First, start with yourself.  Love yourself no matter what the advertising industry tells you.  Work on being a better person.  Work towards your personal goals and aspirations. Then work on being a better wife, daughter, friend, sister, mother and cousin.  Once you are actively working on that, spread a little love to people you don't know.  Smile, say hello, compliment a woman on her outfit, give to the poor, volunteer your time to help organizations you believe in.  It is really that simple.  While you may not think those little things will make a difference, you never know who you made feel better because you smiled at them...you never know who you may help while volunteering your time...and you just may be the little spark that starts the fire.  Again, the power is within your hands.

My wish for 2014 is to build a spirit of sisterhood!  We may not all be BFF's, but we should have a mutual respect for each other, because it is tough being a woman.  Juggling multiple roles, being a friend, working hard, being a daughter, wife, bestie, or just all around sexy woman, is hard...and throw in a 6 inch stiletto to the mix and possibly Aunt Flo and have mercy, it can be rough!  So ladies, work with me.  Help me out.  Let's build each other up, respect each other, and compliment each other on our shoe games.  A smile, a hug, a nod of encouragement can make all the difference in the world.

With that, I am going to actively post this year (LOL).  I am going to make sure I post my heart out with good, quality content and updates on my sisterhood building.  I am going to revamp Style Icon of the Week, I will also be introducing the Make Up Misfit, who will be my blog co-host who will write about cosmetics from a newbies point of view and other intriguing topics as well.  Of course, I will talk about shopping and some other goodies...but I am also going to delve into issues effecting our sisterhood and the world. I hope you stick around for it!

I appreciate all of your continued support of the blog, it really means so much to me!  So best wishes, Happy New Years and as always Happy Shopping!

PS: Follow me on
Instagram @IHEARTRetailTherapy
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/IHEARTRetailTherapy
Twitter: @HEARTRetail
Pinterest: RetailTherapy1

Continue Reading