Adventures of a Makeup Misfit: What the Pluck?

what the pluck?

Adventures of a makeup misfit

***Guest Post by the Makeup Misfit***

          You're looking in the mirror and notice that your eyebrows are looking a tad disarrayed.  You begin to wonder, how shall I remedy this dilemma? Should I shave them at home or at a salon? Should I get them waxed? And we've all wanted to try the latest attempt at eyebrow maintenance, threading! Every woman strives for the perfect movie star arch that compliments her eyes and accentuates her face. Like Joan Crawford, you remember her signature eyebrows like you remember the famous line "no more wire hangers!" Well, eyebrow maintenance Mommie Dearest is a necessary evil. The road to this heavenly conquest is sometimes paved with good intentions. We wax, shave, thread and yes pluck (tweeze) our eyebrows into the straight and narrow, curved and sleek silhouette of exquisite submission all in the name of beauty.

           Shaving your eyebrows, if you know what you're doing, can leave a clean beautiful curve to your eyebrows that accentuates any eye. I've tried shaving my own eyebrows and let me tell you I leave this task to the professionals. Any time I try to accomplish this goal myself, I always hear Shug Avery in my ear saying " that razor looks dull to me Ms. Celie!" I imagine myself, going along with precision and all of a sudden, I hear that call of the Dinka tribe as Nettie turns away and blood runs down my face! NOT PRETTY.  Needless to say, I go to my favorite stylist, pay her my money and TIP, then walk away with beautifully arched eyebrows.

Now waxing, I would say is the fastest method to eyebrow madness.  The waxing experience is not bad AT FIRST!!! It starts off  with warm wax sometimes a little hot. The stylist or technician applies the wax in a generous amount to the desired area and then a strip is pressed over the wax. Here comes the fun part, as the strip is snatched off your face the entire room goes silent, tears run down your face and temporary paralysis occurs. You find yourself  blacking out and spiraling down a rabbit hole, passing Alice and the Mad Hatter! As you regain consciousness, you realize that beauty is pain.  Just as we endure stiletto pumps, girdles and underwire bras, women everywhere have endured the pain of waxing. In my experience, waxing has lasted longer than shaving so there is a benefit to this method of eyebrow maintenance.

            We've all seen those horror films where some unsuspecting damsel in distress is strapped to a table and forced to undergo agonizing and excruciating pain at the hands of a psychopathic killer, well anyone that plucks eyebrows is that psychopath in my opinion. I am convinced, it takes a certain type of person to pluck eyebrows and an even more mentally disturbed individual to subject themselves to plucking. Plucking is not an art to me it's more of a sadistic act of cruelty that pushes the limits of beauty to the edge by the ends of your eyelids. And even after you've succumb to the madness of plucking it's sometimes not as accurate as the previously mentioned methods of eyebrow maintenance. Sure you can do this at home without any assistance but who would want to? I for one reject the idea of plucking eyebrows as an archaic medieval practice invented in a dungeon-esque torture chamber by Dr. Frankenstein or Dr. Moreau.

  

            Whether the Color Purple is your shave, you enjoy free falling into a wax filled Wonderland or maybe subjecting yourself to the suspenseful thrill ride plucked right out of a H. G. Wells novel, when getting your eyebrows manicured you must truly choose your own path. Whichever you decide, only you know your threshold of pain in order to acquire your Hollywood look. Though exquisiteness comes at a price ranging from a bag of large popcorn to tickets on Broadway, when you make your première I guarantee no one will take their eyes off of you!